My Regret.

Just recently I was thinking about what could have been? Then again I am one of those people who don’t have very many regrets, in fact I thought I had none.  But I do have one,  it was my dancing. I am a classically trained Ballerina, I loved it.  Too bad I never realised that I was actually good at the time.

When I was 14 and not skipping ballet class, I was approached by my newly appointed teacher (she was Swan dancer), and asked “if I ever thought about going full time?” I looked at her sheeply and dismissed her comment. I mean who was she telling me that I could be that.  But secretly I was elated.

I went to some of her intense classes and it was hard and extremely difficult mentally.  The work did come easy for me.  But I dropped out  a few years later.  Why? I justI felt insecure about my abilities, I mean there was so many other great dancers in my class. Little did they know I got this opportunity. I kept it quiet, never told a soul.  I could blame everyone for discouraging me; it’s not true,  but all I can do is blame myself for not telling any one for my opportunity, and gain support to pursue my secret dream.

Now nearly 15 years later, I miss it.  I wish dance was all around me.  I love it.  I think back to the times I had fun, whispering to the girl next to me about how strict our teacher was, or what was that dance step?  But most of all I miss the breeze when you move gracefully like a swan, and feeling graceful. I wished I said “yes”, right then and there at 14; I didn’t.  I guess this is what you call regret, huh.