Trains

So this is the post after my Full Moon Inner Crazy, I feel calm and sombre. In fact my mind has transported me to a time where I was back home in Sydney coming back from a trip and exhausted.  I remember walking down the stairs of the train station in heels, of course, smelling the electrical air blowing in my face. Feeling lonely and rushed.

When you are on those Train Stations stairs and Platforms, you think to yourself, when is this stupid train coming, you look at your watch, then the timetable.  Tick. Tock.  Tick, until the time goes backwards for that split moment and then you turn around. Wind is pushing against you and the light gushing towards you, screech goes the sound of the train stopping; time moves forward. As the people fall out, you jump in, standing there with a blank stare of discontent. Your train stop, you fall out. Home is where you walk to. And repeat the cycle again the next morning.

I woke up one morning and said, "I won’t come to this cycle again". I don’t want to hop on a train and be a person who has nothing but discontent of being rushed and lonely.  I begged for the universe to change this for me. It didn’t. I had to change it myself. I made decisions that would alter my life, you know the ones where you become selfish. That’s what I did.

When I decided to get off that train, and start living for me. People were so angry with me that they turned their backs on me.  I figure that, they were not meant to be. But I don’t care anymore.  I’m not on that train of discontent. I got off it and stopped the cycle unhappiness. It’s about bloody time as I’m getting too old.