Fix You, Fix Me

Are you the saviour of your friends. There for them when they fall apart; pick up the pieces and glue them together, till they feel happy again.  Like brand new person again.  I do, in fact it stems deeper than that. I’ve been doing this since I was a child.  

A child you are saying? Yes, I come from a broken home and I saw my mother fall apart at the seams, when her marriage broke up and the time when my baby brother died from Cot death. It happened such a short time too. When she was heart sick, I came into the picture and filled in the gaps for my family.  Okay I was never the kid that did the cooking and cleaning but I was the child that emotionally held it together for everyone.  A shoulder to cry on.

Some people may think this is terrible for  a young child, but this is the realities of broken homes, dealing with broken. Yes this is sad, I’ve unintentionally become more compassionate towards others. And yes there is a dark side of this; people have an expectation of me being their saviour, and I play along, while I fall into the background.

I save people, but people don’t save me.  I’m not blaming them, I blame myself for forgetting me, that little girl from way back when, drying the tears of my broken mother.  And now I’m a mother, yes our home is broken, but I am the under deniable saviour, because I want to fix you.