Forgiving Your Mother; For Your Future

I’m forgiving my Mother. I need to do it. I need to do it, for I want a future. A future that is bright with happiness. I have lived in the darkness for so long, that I my eyes are only suited for the darkness. But that’s not me. I am a person that loves the light, yet I see dark.

Everyone that knows me personally would understand that I have a bad history with my parents; this is not an uncommon thing to hear. In fact lots of people are currently going through and living this. It is really easy to not to forgive the trespasses that your parental units have dealt you. And it’s really easy to run away from them and live on the other side of the world and have an itinerant lifestyle. Boy, it is fun doing this, truly it is.

What happens when you see everyone happy? And they have their act together? But don’t you have your act together? Nope, you don’t! The past is controlling you, in the now and future. I don’t like that the fact my past hurt is controlling my future happiness. I want to be happy, like? So I’ve decided to forgive her. Okay, I’ve not actually said the words, but I’m building the relationship that I she burnt down. It’s hard work. It’s painful work, yet I know it will be worth it.

So now you are telling me, “Why, should you do all of the hard work. Why should you take the first steps, shouldn’t she and crawl back to you?” well no! It should be me. I’m younger, I will live longer. My future hasn’t even started yet, hers has; its half way and nearly done. See? It’s me that has to start. I’m talking about my life here.  I want is happiness. And that means biting my tongue and doing the hard work. You see when you think about it, it’s not about forgiving her and letting her have her past action get a pardon. It’s more than that. You are building your future; you’re future relationships of the future. She is your start in life and now you have to complete it; by going back to the start.