Are You My Friend

So last night I put someone on "Restriction" on Facebook, because I've realised they weren't my friend. They were just pretending to be my friend. I can't exactly get rid of him, because well I'm friends with his friends.

What makes this strange, on my birthday (which I invited him, because he asked me to), he never showed up, and I bumped into him later that night. He was sobbing to me to fix his pain. I fixed it. I thought he would wish me ''happy birthday''. He just walked away instead.

I put this down to, “okay he is a bit drunk”. And then he did his stuff and wished his other friends “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”, less than a week later. So now you’re thinking, Sunny you’re being sensitive again. Yes, I am a bit sensitive. But I did turn 30 and that’s classified as a big one, right? So in my mind, I have the right to be a bit sensitive, I mean didn’t I absolve his problems on my birthday? All I wanted was a Happy Birthday? And nothing else!

Sigh, I was so focused to be his friend that, maybe I never did read the signs that he never had any intentions of being my friend. Maybe all this time I was in the wrong.

So I’m back after a long sabbatical, I kinda needed it. I hadn’t realized that I was still grieving. Still am, but I’m feeling stronger enough to put thoughts onto paper. After many successions of pain this year, I’ve realized that I may have stretched myself a little too far.  And because I’ve stretched myself too much I let the ball drop and then let it crush me.

So now, I’m going to write a list and focus one thing at a time so that I don’t fall behind.